A letter of wishes is a private, informal note that sits alongside your will. It tells your executors, and any trustees, how you would like things handled and why. It is not legally binding, so your will does the legal work and the letter does the human work. Used well, it saves your family guesswork at a hard time.
This guide covers what the letter can and cannot do, how it differs from a will, what to put in it, and how to keep it useful for years.
TL;DR
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A letter of wishes is guidance for executors and trustees. It is not a will and it does not override one.
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It is not legally binding in the UK, but people dealing with your estate usually take it seriously, especially where they have discretion.
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Good topics: funeral preferences, personal items, guardians’ values, how trustees should use their discretion, and your reasons for unusual decisions.
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Anything that must happen, such as who inherits what, belongs in your will, which must be signed and witnessed correctly.
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Review the letter after big life events and make sure the right people can find it.
What a letter of wishes is, in plain English
Think of it as a side letter. Your will is the formal legal document: it names your executors, says who gets what, and has to meet strict rules. A letter of wishes is the covering explanation. It is written in your own words, to the people who will carry out the will.
In trust law, a letter of wishes is a tool a settlor uses to pass information to the trustees, who are not legally required to follow it. The same idea is used with wills. Many people write one when their will creates a trust, but you do not need a trust to write one.
Typical readers of your letter are:
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Executors, who gather your assets, pay debts and share out the estate.
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Trustees, if your will sets up a trust, for example for children or a vulnerable relative.
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Family and beneficiaries, if you choose to share it, or if you want it read at a particular moment.
Is a letter of wishes legally binding in the UK?
No. A letter of wishes is not legally binding. Your executors and trustees must follow the will and the law. They are not bound to follow the letter.
That does not make it pointless. Where your will gives trustees discretion, for example over when to pay money to a child or how to divide a fund between several people, they have to make real decisions. Your letter tells them what you would have wanted, and sensible trustees will weigh it heavily. For executors, it covers matters a will often does not mention at all, such as the type of funeral you want.
Two cautions follow from this:
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Never put a legal instruction only in the letter. If you write “my sister should get the house” in a letter but not in the will, nobody is obliged to act on it.
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Keep the letter consistent with the will. If the two clash, the will wins, and the clash can fuel disagreement between family members.
If you are unsure how a particular wish should be recorded, a solicitor who specialises in wills and trusts can tell you whether it belongs in the will or the letter.
Letter of wishes vs will
| Will | Letter of wishes | |
|---|---|---|
| Legal force | Binding once valid | Guidance only |
| Formalities | Written, signed and witnessed correctly | None required |
| Changing it | Needs a new will or a properly executed codicil | Rewrite it whenever you like |
| Privacy | Usually becomes accessible after probate | Stays private unless you share it |
| Main job | Appoints executors, names beneficiaries, deals with who gets what | Explains preferences and reasons |
The formalities column matters. In England and Wales the rules sit in section 9 of the Wills Act 1837, and HMRC’s manual explains that a will must be in writing, signed by you, and witnessed. Scotland has its own rules for wills, which is why this article talks about the letter as a general idea rather than a Scottish or English template. A letter of wishes needs none of that, which is exactly why it must not replace the will.
What to include in a letter of wishes
Start with what your executors would otherwise have to guess. Then add what only you can explain.
Funeral and after-death wishes
Burial or cremation, the type of service, music, readings, who you would like to be asked to speak, and where ashes should go. Funerals often happen within days of a death, before anyone has read the will, so make sure these wishes are easy to find. Tell someone close where they are.
Personal belongings
Wills often cover money and property in broad terms. A letter can handle the small things that matter most: a watch, a piece of jewellery, a record collection, family photographs. You can say who you would like to have each item, and why. Note that if you want something to pass to a specific person for certain, a gift in the will is the safer route.
Guidance for trustees
If your will leaves money in trust, say how you hope trustees will use their discretion. For example:
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When you would like children to receive capital, and at what ages.
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Whether trustees may help with a first home, education or starting a business.
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How to treat a beneficiary who may need support, for instance someone with a disability or someone who struggles to manage money.
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Whether to favour one beneficiary over others in particular circumstances.
Being specific helps. “Be fair” gives trustees little to go on. “Pay for university fees and a deposit, but be cautious about lump sums before 25” gives them a direction.
Reasons for unusual decisions
If you are leaving one child more than another, or leaving someone out, a short explanation can reduce hurt and may help avoid disputes. Keep it factual and calm. This is not the place for grievances, and anything you write could be read by people who feel let down.
Care of children and pets
Your will can name guardians for children under 18. The letter can describe your values, routines, schooling preferences, faith, family traditions and who the children are close to. For pets, say who you would like to care for them and any routines or vet details that help.
Practical information
Location of important documents, the name of your solicitor or adviser, and a pointer to where your accounts, policies and pensions are listed. Do not write passwords or full account numbers in a letter that might be passed around.
Personal messages
Some people add a few lines to children, a partner or friends. This part is optional, but families often value it. If you want to write separate private letters to individuals, keep those apart from the one for executors, so the practical letter stays practical.
The University of Bath’s template is a useful example of how an institution frames this: the letter helps those administering your will follow your guidance, while the will itself must be clearly written, signed and witnessed.
What to leave out
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Anything that must happen. Put gifts, appointments of executors and guardians in the will.
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Contradictions with the will. Re-read both documents together.
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Sensitive accusations. If a letter is shared or challenged, harsh comments cause trouble.
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Secrets that could surprise your executor with a legal problem. Ask a professional how to handle them.
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Passwords and security details. Store those safely and separately.
How to write it, step by step
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Finish or review your will first. The letter should follow the will, not the other way round.
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List the decisions you want to explain. Funeral, belongings, trustee discretion, any unequal gifts.
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Write plainly, as if talking to your executor. Short paragraphs and headings are fine. No legal language needed.
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Be specific, and say why. Reasons are what make a letter genuinely helpful.
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Date and sign it. There is no legal requirement, but a date shows which version is current.
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Store it with your will, or where your executors will find it. Tell them it exists.
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Revisit it. Marriage, divorce, a new child, a death in the family, a move, or a change in your wealth are all good prompts.
If your will creates a trust, or your family situation is complicated, ask a solicitor to look at the letter alongside the will. A short review costs far less than the problems a muddled letter can cause.
A short worked example
Imagine a parent whose will leaves everything to two children in equal shares, held in trust until each turns 25. The will gives the trustees discretion to release money earlier.
The letter might say:
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“I would like trustees to consider helping with a deposit for a first home, but I would rather they did not release large sums before 21.”
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“I would like a quiet cremation, followed by a gathering at home. The playlist is in the blue folder.”
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“My sister should be asked first to look after the dog, Biscuit.”
Notice what the letter does not do. It does not name who gets the house, because that is in the will. It explains how to use discretion, and it covers things the will cannot easily handle.
Do you need a handwritten will or letter?
People often ask whether handwriting is allowed. A will can be handwritten or typed, but it still has to meet the same signing and witnessing rules. HMRC’s guidance says it can be hand-written or typed, but the testator must sign and the witnesses must be present. A home-made will that misses those steps may be invalid, and then the rules of intestacy decide who inherits. Citizens Advice explains why it matters to make a will whether or not you have many possessions.
For a letter of wishes, handwriting is fine. Many families keep it handwritten because it feels personal. A typed copy stored digitally is a useful backup so it cannot be lost.
Our view: keep the letter connected to the estate
We build estate planning tools, so we see the same problem again and again. People write a thoughtful letter, and then nobody can find it. Or it describes a pension, a bank account or a property that has since changed. The wishes are clear, but the estate they refer to has moved on.
That is why we think of the letter as one piece of a bigger picture. Your will says who inherits. Your letter explains how you would like things done. Your executors also need to know what actually exists: property, bank accounts, pensions, insurance, business interests, digital assets and logins. When those details are scattered or out of date, assets are forgotten, and the people you trusted spend weeks hunting for paperwork.
Our approach is to keep everything in one place and keep it current, so your executors start with a clear list, not a search. A letter of wishes belongs in that same place, with your will, where the right people can reach it when it matters. Write it with care, review it when life changes, and make sure someone knows where it is.
— the WillFull team
Making the will and the estate list in one place
A letter of wishes is only as useful as the will behind it. With WillFull you can write a legally valid will online through plain-English questions. Our will is free. If you also want your estate details kept up to date for your executors, the Will + Connected estate plan is £9.99 per month, after a 30-day free trial.
If you are an executor who has found an estate with no active plan, we offer Connected estate access for executors as a one-off fee of £200. It gives step-by-step guidance for probate and for sharing out the estate. And if your situation calls for professional advice, you can find a financial adviser or solicitor through our directory.
Common questions
Is a letter of wishes legally binding in the UK?
No. It is guidance, not a legal instruction. Executors and trustees must follow the will and the law, but they will normally want to respect what you have told them, particularly where they have discretion.
Do I need a letter of wishes if I have a will?
Not always. If your will is simple, such as everything to your spouse, you may not need one. It is most useful when you have a trust, children who may inherit young, unequal gifts, or strong funeral and personal preferences. If you are unsure, a solicitor can say whether one would help in your case.
Who should keep my letter of wishes?
Keep it with your will, and tell your executors where both are. Funeral wishes in particular should be easy to reach quickly. Consider keeping a digital copy as well, in case the original is lost.
Can I change my letter of wishes?
Yes, at any time, and without witnesses. Date each version, and remove or clearly mark old copies so your executors do not follow an outdated one. Review it after marriage, divorce, a birth, a death or a major change in your finances.
Can a letter of wishes replace a will?
No. Without a valid will, the rules of intestacy decide who inherits, whatever your letter says. Write the will first, then add the letter.
Sources
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IHTM12043: Requirements for making a valid will, HMRC internal manual
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IHTM12044: Formalities required to make a valid will, HMRC internal manual